First Dose
So I started to take Clozapine today. I went over to the mental health hub at Chelsea and Westminster Hospital to take the first dose. My partner of 12 years joined me. I’m glad to say it went well, though I was nervous ahead of it. It’s done now, and that feels good.
Clozapine is an antipsychotic sedative. Taking it needs to be closely monitored because in some rare cases it can affect your blood cell count. For two weeks, I will have to go in at 9 in the morning and then again at 5 in the evening. You take the Clozapine under the watchful eyes of a mental health nurse, who takes your pulse and blood pressure. Then you have to sit in the waiting area for half an hour, after which they do your vitals again.
Everything was within range--I have had high readings in the past because clinical environments, like unfamiliar social situations, scare me. My partner and I blame it on my Autism Spectrum Disorder. We laugh about it, it really is a constant given that will probably never go away.
Here I am now, writing while listening to music. My Spotify randomly played “Gloria” by Umberto Tozzi, which I would listen to a lot when I was hospitalized for the second time in Milton Keynes back in 2021. Fate had it that one of the nurses was called Gloria (who was strict but nice, she let me vape in my room).
I don’t really feel any different now. That’s supposed to happen: in the next few days I may start to experience side effects like nausea and constipation. Though I know those side effects may still have to kick in, I’m relieved by how it’s going so far. That’s in part because I learned today that I would be staying on one of my current medications for the time being (Olanzapine, another antipsychotic medication).
In a way I feel at a new junction in my life. I have been doing a Master’s degree in International Studies and Diplomacy at SOAS for the past year. I have had my ups and downs with studying while experiencing a complex and long-term mental health condition: bipolar disorder. On top of that, my ASD traits like being fearful of unfamiliar social situations kicked in a lot of the time. The MA has been a shock to my system, though in a good way. Here’s to hoping that I will be able to finish it and do relatively well at paper writing and exams.
So there you go. Thanks for reading this. I hope that sharing more of my experiences with a long-term mental health condition like bipolar disorder, along with my stories of getting diagnosed with autism, will help others in a similar conundrum. Thank you again, and peace.